Invisible Scars: How to Stop, Change, or End Psychological Abuse

by Catharine Dowda, M. Ed., LPC

Book Review by Laura V. Bonner

Women either engaged in or trying to recover from damaging relationships will find counsel and resolution in Catharine Dowda’s Invisible Scars: How to Stop, Change, or End Psychological Abuse. Multiple examples and quotes from research and interviews with therapy patients clearly define psychological abuse, its effects on victims and their families, and help the reader identify herself in the role of either abuser or victim. Thorough research, documentation, and biological studies teaches the reader to understand the suffering of abuse victims, gives hope for one’s ability to overcome injurious treatment, and elucidates behaviors that enable the continuation of abuse.

Invisible Scars asserts that enduring psychological abuse is as harmful and spirit-breaking as withstanding a physical beating. Dowda, a licensed professional counselor and victim’s advocate, states that cruelty and manipulation does not always occur as yelling and name calling. She clarifies how repeated underhanded criticisms are just as devastating and that this manner of mistreating a partner is often a lead-in to other forms of abuse, such as physical or sexual. She also discusses why one may stay in such a relationship and choose to tolerate continuing offensive and controlling behavior.

 

Dowda delves into how one may recognize behavior that truly does not merit attempts at mending for the sake of marital longevity, and highlights the memorable moments that determine the victim’s exit from the relationship. Yet, surprisingly, this book is pro-relationship and offers tools for improving circumstances, challenging abusive behavior, and regaining the loss of the persona that was crushed by a dominating partner’s projected insecurity. Dowda makes a point that many damaged relationships can be saved with careful counseling and the dedication of two committed people.

While Invisible Scars should be distributed to any male or female who is in a partnership that currently raises questions of insecurity, this book will certainly appeal to one audience in particular: the twenty-first century wife in her childbearing years. These women are left grossly vulnerable to psychological abuse when saddled with a spouse that unrealistically demands perfection in her simultaneously achieving the multiple roles of caregiver, financial provider and planner, household manager, and peak-level lover.

Dowda’s book is very well organized and flows smoothly from chapter to chapter. Her warm, direct tone makes this read accessible for those women seeking comfort and information in less than clinical language. Readers will identify themselves with shock, relief, and empathy in the voices of the many men and women whose stories are recorded here. Brilliant, insightful, proactive, Invisible Scars is a must for those who desire healing for themselves or understanding of others in detrimental relationships.

 

Invisible Scars: How to Stop, Change, or End Psychological Abuse

by Catharine Dowda, M. Ed., LPC

286 pp.

ISBN 978-0-88282-308-9

$14.95

Books can be ordered from the publisher’s web site at www.newhorizonpressbooks.com.