Searching For Love?

by Doreen Washington

Now that we should understand and appreciate who we are and who we have become - we are now ready for love. We’re ready for a love that appreciates where we’ve been, where we’re heading for the future (if we know this) and the things that we’ve been through within our life’s journey.

Love - what is it to you? How does this word define itself within your thoughts? Does the word “love” express everything that you’ve ever wished for, and does the desire for it take up the most part of your inner being? Is it all that is left in you to have or to give? If your answers are yes, then maybe you still need more time to evaluate your purposes for love and how a love relationship should interact in your life.

Love isn’t a force that travels through our hearts and spirits and once it reaches these areas it sucks all the life, joy, ambition, direction, self-confidence and self-worth out of us. No, it’s completely the opposite. It brings life, joy, ambition, direction, and confidence and pushes us to invest in another when there’s no evidence that we should.

Are we ready - ready to give a love that is completely selfless and that offers respect and honor? What’s our idea of love on a scale from 1 to 10? Is it a high priority in our lives and nothing else measures close? Or is it within the ranges of 1 to 10, giving us room to love, appreciate, indulge in and set other priorities and goals that await to be apart of our lives.

Well, I’ll let you be the judge of that, but would add that love isn’t always convenient and self-satisfying but is worth the inconveniences and sacrifices.

I believe that we should evaluate whether or not we are ready for a love relationship. Taking the time to understand who we are and what things and behaviors in a relationship are desirable to us is key. We must identify what things we are willing to accept and what are those behaviors and characteristics that we wish not to accept.

For instance, I wish not to be in a relationship with someone who is a smoker - this is my preference. However, some of us make this determination, but are willing to put it aside for the sake of having love. However, later in the relationship we try to convince him to quit - causing multiple arguments and hurt feelings. Seems a little unfair, doesn’t it?

Love is rewarding, satisfying, gratifying and causes our heart to skip several beats, but let us not forget - it’s also work and the more we understand who we are as women the more that this thing called love will be drawn to us. Love will find you! Evaluate what you want before indulging. Let’s get in it to win it! We Are Woman!

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Wednesday's "We Are Woman" column is created by Doreen Washington. Doreen resides in Newport News, VA.  She is the author of her newest book, We Are Woman, an inspiring book that speaks to women about their strength, value and victories. Her next book, Trapped - Learning to live free while waiting for romance and marriage, will hit book stores in early 2010.

Doreen Washington is also the Founder and Executive Director of The FACE Foundation, a non-profit charitable organization that focuses its resources on assisting single working mothers. You can visit Doreen's blog at www.doreenwashington.blogspot.com.