Dementia--A Threat to Staying Organized

It has been a quiet week here in Kilmarnock, Virginia, in the aftermath of my step-father’s death. I’ve been here to make funeral arrangements and support my mother as she comes to grips with the biggest loss of her life.

As is my habit, I’ve watched my mother move through her days both with curiosity and concern. Mom is not only grieving the loss of the love of her life, she is showing signs of dementia. The most obvious sign is poor short-term memory. I’ve been preparing myself for further decline by reading The 36 Hour Day by Nancy L. Mace and Peter V. Rabins, a book about dealing with dementia. I know it’s possible that over time she will eventually forget how to do even the simplest of tasks. I dread that time.

 You are clearly and undeniably a goddess. Want proof? You are so desired that you are asked to work on the new project at work, begged to lead the elementary-school bake sale, and formally requested to serve as a board member of your favorite volunteer organization. You have the skills to excel at each of these roles. Heck, there isn't much you can't do.  Well there is one thing – you can't do it all (and keep your sanity).

If you have a family, a career, or both, I bet you frequently look at your watch wishing for one more hour. Some may say you need more effective "time management" skills. I however find "time management" to be a funny concept. The word "manage" suggests that you lead, direct, or have some control over something else. So tell me, when was the last time you directed your watch, "Stop ticking for the next 60 minutes. I need one more hour to finish things up?" 

We can't technically manage time. But we can manage the commitments we fit into the time we have. Therefore a more accurate and empowering term is "commitment management," as it focuses on something you actually can control. The skills needed to manage your commitments are different than those of traditional "time management."

Small Clutter Clearing Steps Lead to Big Results

You’ve probably heard that the way to get a big project done is to break it down into smaller steps. However, I’ll bet there have been times when you’ve cursed the advice-givers because even breaking projects down into smaller steps can be a daunting task in itself, especially if you are not a linear thinker. For example, you may freeze up in that task because there could be a right and wrong way to break things down into smaller steps.

Two different women in the last week shared their success stories with me about how they tackled clutter clearing by taking small steps in a way that worked for them, without the usual overwhelm. The first told me that she chose one small task to clean up her cluttered kitchen and did it. For example, she’d tell herself, “I can put all the food away,” and do it. Once that was done she’d say, “I can gather together the papers scattered everywhere,” and do that. Using that method she’d work her way around the room until order was restored.

Trying to Be Like "Mom" May Be a Setup for Failure

In my twelve years of professional organizing I’ve run into many women who are still trying to keep house just like “Mom” did. So, what’s wrong with that? After all, Mom was the role model. There would be nothing wrong with that if Mom’s life was comparable to the lives of women today.

When I look at my mother’s reality compared to mine, there are major differences:

1. For most of the years that we three children were at home, she did not work outside the home. Therefore, she had much more time to manage all the tasks of running a home.
2. The pace of life was much slower than it is today, therefore it was easier to keep up with all the chores of running a home. Easier, not easy. It’s never easy to keep up with the demands of raising children and running a home.
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