How often do you mindlessly say thanks to strangers or casual acquaintances— bank teller, store clerk, Starbucks barista, the guy who holds the door for you, the parking lot attendant. It becomes almost meaningless, not much more than a social nicety. And yet it's often a heckuva lot more than we give our sweetheart who does more for us than anybody else on the planet.

In fact, I'm feeling a bit sheepish even writing this. Why? 'Cuz I'm just as guilty as the next guy for forgetting to express my gratitude for all hubby Dale does for me. For starters, he does all the grocery shopping and cooking. Never mind that it's partly in self-defense. Yes, I'm a disaster in the kitchen. Doesn't matter. If you saw me, you'd know how well-fed I am. Deep sigh . . . yes, I should be on a diet. I'm grateful for the good meals he serves every day of the week and I'm doubly grateful that he doesn't say a word about my girth.

 

There's no doubt that an attitude of gratitude is good for your mental and physical health, not to mention your relationship, and that's why International Thank You Day was the inspiration for recent Everyday Foreplay tips.I want you to rack up a bazillion Frequent Foreplay Miles with this one, so put your thinking cap on real good and tight. Ready, set, go . . . .

Make a list of the things your sweetheart does to keep your family running smoothly, not just the obvious stuff, but the everyday bits and pieces of life—scheduling the kids' dental exams, feeding the cat, checking the doors and windows before turning out the lights at night, keeping the oil changed in the cars, paying the bills, making the morning coffee, sending birthday cards to your family, making sure the recycling goes to the curb on the right day, getting up in the middle of the night to calm a crying baby, patching the bathtub calk, fixing the broken this or that, and so on and so on. Then give that list to your sweetheart along with a from-the-heart thank-you note.

Stop by the bookstore and pick up Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Joni Eareckson Tada, or Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give and Receive Joy Everyday of Your Life by M. J. Ryan, or any other book about gratitude that strikes your fancy. Give it to your sweetheart with a lovely inscription about how grateful you are for him or her, suggest you read it together, a chapter at a time.

If it's in your gift-giving budget, show your gratitude by splurging on something that will make your sweetie say, "THANK YOU!!!!!"

Better yet, do something that will elicit the same enthusiastic response.

Nobody likes to be taken for granted. We all want to be important, to add value, and to be appreciated. Your sweetie doesn't make the bed so you'll say thanks or mow the lawn to please you. You both do what needs to be done because, well, it needs to be done. At the same time, you want your efforts to be valued and appreciated. Showing your gratitude for everything your sweetheart does is a great way to not only rack up Frequent Foreplay Miles, but to make your sweetie feel really, really good. So, go for it. Today and every day.

Shela Dean is a Relationship Coach, Speaker and Amazon Bestselling Author of Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy available on Amazon and her website, www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com.