You are clearly and undeniably a goddess. Want proof? You are so desired that you are asked to work on the new project at work, begged to lead the elementary-school bake sale, and formally requested to serve as a board member of your favorite volunteer organization. You have the skills to excel at each of these roles. Heck, there isn't much you can't do.  Well there is one thing – you can't do it all (and keep your sanity).

If you have a family, a career, or both, I bet you frequently look at your watch wishing for one more hour. Some may say you need more effective "time management" skills. I however find "time management" to be a funny concept. The word "manage" suggests that you lead, direct, or have some control over something else. So tell me, when was the last time you directed your watch, "Stop ticking for the next 60 minutes. I need one more hour to finish things up?" 

We can't technically manage time. But we can manage the commitments we fit into the time we have. Therefore a more accurate and empowering term is "commitment management," as it focuses on something you actually can control. The skills needed to manage your commitments are different than those of traditional "time management."

Commitment management challenges you to consciously decide and actively communicate what you do in a set period of time. This means saying yes or no to leading the elementary bake sale. Trust me, saying no is an option!  If you can't say no to new commitments, then all of the delegation and prioritization tricks in the world will be useless as you keep adding more than you can chew to your plate. (This is one of the main reasons why time management doesn't work.)

In addition to saying yes and more importantly, saying no, there are two other key skills needed to take back control of your time: negotiating requests and renegotiating commitments. Negotiating is simply responding with other options. Like when Peggy asks you to lead the bake sale, you could say, "My schedule won't allow me to lead the sale, but I can commit to bringing three cakes." 

In our busy lives renegotiating commitments may be just as hard for some of us as saying no.  Have you ever committed to a project or role and then realized it was twice as large as you had anticipated? This is where renegotiating commitments is critical!  Emily, a high performer, frequently found herself being given extra projects here and a special task there, on top of her normal duties. As we chatted, she seemed perplexed as to how a few small things could quickly become staggering and admitted defeat as the stress of working long hours was starting to affect her health. In a move towards a healthier life, Emily started renegotiating commitments with her supervisor. She communicated enthusiasm for her work while also eliciting her boss's help to keep her healthy by prioritizing the list and resetting due dates. 

If you are bowled over at home, elicit the help of your partner or support system to review your to-do list. You might be surprised by who offers to help when they see you aren't superwoman, or how some people tell you, "No problem, I will handle that."  Renegotiate commitments by asking for help to solve the problem -- a gentle and easy way to gain buy-in to the end solution, too.

Our public identity is also impacted by how we manage our commitments. Think about someone in your life that makes commitments such as, "I will pick you up at 7pm," and more often than not, then show up at 8pm without a call or text to let you know they are running late. How do you feel about that person?  Conversely, how do you feel about someone who actively manages their commitments? Reflecting on my own life, my dad manages his commitments impeccably. He always shows up on time, he does what he says he is going to do, or he calls to renegotiate a commitment when needed. His consistency makes me feel both loved and important, knowing I can always rely on him.  What lasting impression do you make on other people? What public image are you building based on how you actively, or inactively, manage your commitments?

If you want greater control over your exploding schedule, shift your focus to something you can manage – your commitments – and watch your overwhelming overload fall away. 

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Danielle Johnson Crowley, founder of The Leading Vision, is a performance and leadership coach for professionals. Visit The Leading Vision at www.theleadingvision.com to sign up for her content-rich, value-filled newsletter and receive a free “Six Secrets to Workplace Success” audio.